Special Speech

To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.

The somatic finds cyber-sex and cyber-relationships aplenty. The cerebral claims false accomplishments, fake skills, erudition and talents. Both, if minimally communicative, end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, followers, stalkers, erotomaniacs, denigrators, and plain nuts. The constant attention and attendant quasi-celebrity feed and sustain their grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image.

The Internet is an extension of the real-life Narcissistic Pathological Space but without its risks, injuries, and disappointments. In the virtual universe of the Web, the narcissist vanishes and reappears with ease, often adopting a myriad aliases and nicknames. He (or she) can thus fend off criticism, abuse, disagreement, and disapproval effectively and in real time - and, simultaneously, preserve the precarious balance of his infantile personality. Narcissists are, therefore, prone to Internet addiction.

The positive characteristics of the Net are largely lost on the narcissist. He is not keen on expanding his horizons, fostering true relationships, or getting in real contact with other people. The narcissist is forever the provincial because he filters everything through the narrow lens of his addiction. He measures others - and idealizes or devalues them - according to one criterion only: how useful they might be as Sources of Narcissistic Supply.

The Internet is an egalitarian medium where people are judged by the consistency and quality of their contributions rather than by the content or bombast of their claims. But the narcissist is driven to distracting discomfiture by a lack of clear and commonly accepted hierarchy (with himself at the pinnacle). He fervently and aggressively tries to impose the “natural order” - either by monopolizing the interaction or, if that fails, by becoming a major disruptive influence.

But the Internet may also be the closest many narcissists get to psychodynamic therapy. Because it is still largely text-based, the Web is populated by disembodied entities. By interacting with these intermittent, unpredictable, ultimately unknowable, ephemeral, and ethereal voices - the narcissist is compelled to project unto them his own experiences, fears, hopes, and prejudices.

Transference (and counter-transference) are quite common on the Net and the narcissist’s defence mechanisms - notably projection and projective identification - are frequently aroused. The therapeutic process is set in motion by the - unbridled, uncensored, and brutally honest - reactions to the narcissist’s repertory of antics, pretensions, delusions, and fantasies.

The narcissist - ever the intimidating bully - is not accustomed to such resistance. Initially, it may heighten and sharpen his paranoia and lead him to compensate by extending and deepening his grandiosity. Some narcissists withdraw altogether, reverting to the schizoid posture. Others become openly antisocial and seek to subvert, sabotage, and destroy the online sources of their frustration. A few retreat and confine themselves to the company of adoring sycophants and unquestioning groupies.

But a long exposure to the culture of the Net - irreverent, skeptical, and populist - usually exerts a beneficial effect even on the staunchest and most rigid narcissist. Far less convinced of his own superiority and infallibility, the online narcissist mellows and begins - hesitantly - to listen to others and to collaborate with them.

First published in my “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” Topic Page on Suite 101

Internet journals are increasing daily. People use them to communicate with the world at large, political candidates use them to spread their message, even companies have started using them for advertising. In the end though, these are just another medium for an age-old practice. Keeping a journal.

Why should you keep a journal? Well it lets you get things out that you may have difficulty saying to other people. Some people find it cathartic to be able to write things out as they happen, or shortly after the fact. Other times, it can serve as a log of how you feel when things happen, which can be especially useful if you have problems remembering emotions (that can sometimes be a side-effect of depression). This way you can reference it later and find things that you want to point out to a therapist.

What kind of journal should you keep? This depends on you. Some people find the feel of pen on paper comforting and prefer that kind of journal. If you lose it, however, then it is gone. There are journals that are kept on your computer, if you prefer typing. You can type it out, save it to a hard drive. If you have a laptop, you even have the portability of a hand-written journal. Unfortunately, you still have issues regarding keeping the journal. A virus on your computer, or a power-failure and you can lose what you wrote. It can also send your journal onto the internet without your choosing. Finally, there are internet journals. They are already on the internet, but could be read by anybody. Even if you lock them, they can be read unintentionally.

Obviously, no solution is perfect, but there are advantages to having a journal. By keeping one, you can make sure that you are tracking your road to health and keep yourself encouraged in many ways.

Learn to alleviate your depression at http://www.curemydepression.com

The office is a vital department of every organization. Omotosho [1979] described the office as “the place [room or building] in which the paperwork of an organization is done.” He added, “It is the nerve center of any business.” According to Denyer [1974], “an office is any room where clerical work is habitually performed as the work of that room: …”

Traditionally, the function of the office has been described as providing the service of communication and record. Whilst this was perhaps sufficient information in the past, it is inadequate today. A more recent definition, according to Mill and Standingford [1966], suggests five major functions of receiving, recording, arranging, giving information and safe guarding assets.

Efficient Workflow in the Office

For the office to carry out its functions, planning the layout of the office is important. This planning depends on the types and sizes of the organization. One of the factors considered in planning the layout is workflow.

Osuala considered workflow as “crucial in determining the efficiency of office layout” and said, “It refers to the movement of information either vertically [between supervisors and subordinates or vice versa] or horizontally [between employees of the same responsibility level].” He stressed further that “for the most efficient workflow, personnel and equipment should be arranged in such a way that the information moves in as straight a line as possible to avoid backtracking and criss-crossing patterns.

Mailroom & Workflow: The Concert

Osuala saw ‘communication network’ as the link between efficient workflow and the Mailroom. He pointed out that in addition to studying the flow of work between individuals and departments, it is also vitally important to analyze the nature of both oral and written communication between individuals and departments.

Omotosho [1979] extended the ‘communication network’ to external contacts of the organization. He expounded that written communication is usually in the forms of mail: letters and correspondence. These written communications are letters, orders, invoices and various forms and memoranda. They are information flow within and outside the organization.

The section of the organization chiefly concerned with these written communications is the Mailroom. Therefore, the contribution of the Mailroom to efficient workflow cannot be over-emphasized.

The Mailroom

The Mailroom otherwise known as the Mailing Department is an important part of most medium and large-sized organizations. Through the department flow all the incoming letters, correspondence and parcels; the outgoing mail is collected, stamped and dispatched; and in some organizations, internal messages are transferred from department to department.

While considering the contribution of the mailroom to the facilitation of efficient workflow, Bunting [1979] concluded that all messages must be dealt with promptly and effectively. He, however, emphasized that there must be order and method in order to avoid confusion and mislaid or forgotten correspondence. A great deal of care and attention should, therefore, be to mailroom workers and equipment.

Mailing System

Handling mail in the mailroom can yield a dividend to the organization, or adversely affect departmental productivity and profitability of the organization. Mail handling is classified into three main categories: incoming, internal and outgoing mail.

- Incoming Mail. These are mail received by the organization. They are usually opened [unless marked ‘Private’ or ‘Confidential’], dated and sorted, and distributed throughout the organization. Everything in this section is urgent and important and should be treated so. Incoming mail can be grouped into three classes:

i. Urgent Mail. These are mail needing the prompt attention of either the manager or secretary. They are telegrams, cablegrams, orders and remittances.

ii. Less Urgent Mail. These are mail for which attention could be delayed for sometime. They include circulars, publications and notices.

iii. Personal Mail. These are mail meant for opening by the addressees. Such letters are marked on the envelope ‘Private/Confidential’ or addressed to officers by name rather than by their office titles.

The first two groups can be opened in the mailroom and routed to appropriate departments. Personal letters should be left unopened, as they may not have anything to do with the business in general. Suppose such personal letters are opened in error, a note should be made on the envelope, that is, ‘opened by mistake’.

- Internal Mail. The mailroom can be used as an intermediary or sorting station for the distribution of internal correspondence, which have originated within the organization and which are destined for some other departments. Files, which are sorted departmentally and letters/circulars containing messages for several departments can be distributed in this way.

- Outgoing Mail. These are letters sent out by the organization. They may be sent out to customers, government agencies, press, and the public. Outgoing mail represents the image of the organization and care should be taken in preparing and dispatching them.

Mailroom Personnel

The personnel in the mailroom are clerical workers. Although they start their working career in this section, it is nevertheless responsible work. Their performance makes or mars workflow efficiency in the organization.

Basically, there are some useful qualities for the staff in this department.

- Punctuality. The clerical workers should arrive at the office earlier than the normal office hour. For instance, one hour or thirty minutes before the opening hour.

- Ability. They should be able to do the work for which they are employed. This competency is important. They should have a general and thorough ability to read and write English perfectly. That is why it will not pay any business to recruit/employ a secondary school dropout or ’school cert fail’ as a clerical worker. Also, they should be able to follow instructions readily.

- Knowledge. They should have a working knowledge of the organization of the business in general and in particular of the departments and the system in use for each purpose in the department.

- Speed. They should be able to work efficiently well under a short time and even under stress to ensure that mail are sorted and routed to respective department quickly.

- The ‘Extra Mile’ Rule. The clerical workers should have a willingness to work hours, which are slightly different from normal office hours.

- Self Discipline. They should always be available at work, and have a sense of commitment. They should be patient, trustworthy and always keep secret.

Mailroom Automation Procedure

Technology and other improvements in methods of work in the office in recent years have helped the efficiency of workflow in the organization. Mailroom equipment contributes greatly to the efficiency flow of work in the office too.

- Letter Opener. When the mail arrives in the mailroom it is usually, opened by machines in a few minutes. The machine shaves the envelopes open without any damage to the contents. This machine is electrically operated. It has an automatic feed and can open 500 letters in a minute.

- Date Stamp. Once the letters are opened, the documents can be stamped with either a rubber stamp or a small hand-operated punch. This punch prints the date and time of receipt on the letters. At the same time, it also progressively numbers the stampings and incidentally, record the number of letters received.

- Trays. The mail may now be sorted into trays for dispatch to the various departments. The trays, which may be made of wire, plastic or metal, will probably fit into tray stands on the desks of executives and, at this stage, they represent ‘IN’ trays. The Office Assistant may collect an empty tray when he delivers the morning mail but he is more certain to collect a full ‘OUT’ tray late in the afternoon.

- Folding Machines. When the ‘OUT’ trays are brought into the mailroom, folding machines are used to fold, crease, slit and perforate them. They are used to dispatch large quantities of circulars or newspapers. Machine precision folding for window envelopes because the address will appear in the right place. Both hand-operated and electrically operated machines are available.

- Letter-sealing Machines. Letters are ready for placing in the envelopes. In the absence of a machine there would be the slow messy process of damping the envelopes flaps and pressing them down. One method is to lay a series of envelopes in line so that a wet sponge can be run across the gummed flaps in one moment and to press the flaps to the envelopes before the gum dries up again.

- The electrically operated sealer is quicker and it is designed to handle any size of envelope. With one filling of the ’sealer’ water container, thousands of envelopes can be sealed. The envelopes are stacked in a vertical pile at the back of the machine and, as they stand one upon the other, the bottom envelope is moved to a place where the flap is levered back and damped by a wet brush. The flap is folded back onto the envelope and pressure is applied. The envelopes are then stacked in the receptacle on the right.

- Composite Machine. A composite machine will fold the documents, insert them into an envelope and seal the envelope.

- Mail-tying Machines. These machines will tie any package of any size, shape or substance in less than two seconds. The machine is enclosed by a strong wire frame, which acts ass an effective guard.

- Postal Franking Machines. These machines print an impression of postage paid in a fraction of the time it takes to select, moisten and affix a stamp. Unlike stamps, franking machines’ impressions do not need to be cancelled and post-marked by the Post Office. However, organizations using franking machines have to meet some conditions with the manufacturers and the Post Office.

- Franking an envelope has the same effect as a postage stamp. The chief advantage of a franking machine is that it eliminates the tedious work of sticking stamps on to envelopes or other packages. Other advantages are:

i. Speed. On a hand-operated machine, up to 2,000 letters an hour may be franked, while an electrical machine may frank up to 15,000 an hour.

ii. Safety. It eliminates the use of loose stamps.

iii. Accounting Value. The dials on the machine provide an accurate record.

iv. Advertising Value. As it franks, the machine can simultaneously print the organization’s name on all outgoing mail.

v. Convenience. For instance, the need for repeated balancing of a post book is eliminated.

vi. Dispatch of Mail. Since letters are already franked, they are not held up by the Post Office for official franking.

vii. Cost Effectiveness. It can save printing costs on envelopes. Instead of an advertising slogan a rubric such as “If undelivered, please return to company XYZ” can be printed.

- Addressing Machine. Addressing machines are used to write addresses on letters or postal, can also be adapted for other uses, such as the heading of invoices, time cards and so on. However, the primary function is still the addressing of mail, which is frequently sent to the same person or group of persons. Examples are minutes and agenda, circulars or newspapers. Lastly, they are in the form of printing and duplicating.

In addition to the various equipment already mentioned and discussed, the following are also of value and are used in the mailroom.

- Jogger. This is a machine, which vibrates papers into alignment ready for stapling or binding.

- Shredder. This is meant for destroying confidential and secret documents.

- Trolleys/Baskets. They are meant for the collection and distribution of mail.

Summary

The mailroom contribution to efficient workflow cannot be overstressed. If there is high and concerted performance on the part of the clerical workers, the organization will benefit; the departments improving their productivity and the organization itself becoming more profitable. But, if there is slackness in the activities of the mailroom, workflow will be hindered.

The office functions involve the process of active information. Also, the written communication aspect of this information has been identified with the mailroom - the principal reason why the mailroom exists.

Lastly, workflow in the office achieves efficiency when the personnel and equipment in the mailroom are combined together for this purpose.

Epilogue

The following suggestions are offered to the medium and large-sized organizations. These suggestions will help them to update the activities of work in their mailroom. They will also enable these organizations to improve the work life of their clerical staff.

- Automate the Mailroom. The purchase of up-to-date mailroom equipment is paramount for today’s business. This should be done after considering the capital outlay of the organization. Other factors are availability of these equipment, cost of maintenance and durability. Mailroom equipment is indispensable in this age of information technology to enable the clerical workers meet the growing demands of their jobs.

- Maximize Mailroom Workers. It is imperative that clerical workers are properly utilized. This should be done by preparing job descriptions for all the clerical workers in the mailroom. They should be frequently appraised whether they are performing in compliance with their job descriptions.
Effective Supervision. There should be effective and thorough supervision of the clerical workers. A more senior office worker should always be present to supervise the receipt of incoming mail [particularly where cash/cheque is involved] and to deal with the agencies.

- Training and Development. Presently, there is no school in Nigeria that specializes in training clerical workers for mailroom activities. Courses like Mailroom Practices, Mailroom Procedures and Mailing Technique & Automation should be introduced into the relevant curriculum of studies in higher institutions of learning in Nigeria. The Human Resources Department of individual organization should also train their clerical workers regularly.

- Equitable Remuneration. Clerical workers should be equitably remunerated in proportion to their input and overall efficiency.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Bunting, E. [1979]. The Office Worker, Cassel, London

Denyer, J. C. [1974]. Office Management, MacDonald & Evans Ltd, London

Harrison, J. et al [1979]. Secretarial Duties, Pitman Books Ltd, London

Mills, G. & Standingford, O. [1966]. Office Administration, Pitman Publishing Ltd, Pitman House, London

Omotosho, J. N. [1979]. Office Practice & Business Methods, Macmillan Publishers Ltd, London & Basingstoke

Osuala, E. C. [ ]. Office Management At A Glance, Africana Publishers Ltd., Onitsha, Nigeria

Babatunde Ayoola Fajimi is an Expert EzineArticles Author and writes on management, leadership and education. He is also a freelance writer. He holds an MBA in Management and HND Secretarial Administration. He has received professional development training from Lagos Business School, Ghana Institute of Journalism, Cornell University and Boston University. He is a certified teacher, an Associate Member of NIM and registered with CIPMN. He specializes in crafting and implementing strategy, communication planning, process reengineering, leadership, business coaching and entrepreneurial marketing.

Many moons ago, while in college, I had a summer job at a service station working the night shift. That meant hours running from 11 PM to 8 AM. While for many this might seem like cruel and unusual punishment, I loved it. One big reason, other than the relatively reduced traffic in the middle of the night (i.e., workload) and the coolness of most evenings when compared to those hotter-than-Hades afternoon shifts, was a traditional, if unofficial benefit built into every shift: those on duty used to take turns stealing away for one nap each and every shift.

That unusual feature/benefit was much loved by myself and my co-workers. We would climb a short ladder to a cramped supply loft when it came our turn, settle in with a cushion, turn out an overhead light, then drop away to snooze-land. This arrangement all worked well the entire summer until one night I found myself jerked awake by a co-worker flipping the light switch on and off to get me up, while yelling, “Get up, get up! We wuz just robbed!” Huh, say what? 911 in progress and I had slept through the whole thing. But hey, that story’s for another day!

This column is about the nap itself. It seems such once furtive, dead-of-night-only employee activity has begun emerging from the closet (or the loft, in my case!). Thanks to the criticality of staying competitive and keeping productivity sky-high, many employers now actually allow and encourage naps, in broad daylight even, building them into employee benefit packages.

No small factor for the cause of this revolution are the reports of many researchers that American workers now work longer hours than ever and yet are sleeping less at night. Something’s got to give somewhere, there are after all only so many hours in a 24×7 week, so, to get things done both at home and on the job, workers are cutting back on sleep, leaving them vulnerable to the drowsies during the day.

This obviously means they will often not be in tiptop shape while performing for the boss. As the original President George Bush might have put it, this is “bad, bad.”

To view the wide picture, takes a scan at the results of a study done by the National Sleep Foundation:

• 51% of American workers say sleepiness on the job interferes with the amount of work they get done

• 40% admit the quality of their work suffers as they find themselves about ready to nod off

• 68% feel sleepiness during the day may be interfering with their concentration

• 25 % say they’ve great difficulty getting up for work two or more workdays per week

As a result, there’s a movement afoot (naturally) to allow more snoozing on the job. Dr. William Anthony, author of “The Art of Napping at Work,” explains, “The main advantages that stick out for the worker and employer are that napping enhances productivity and mood, and that you are able to concentrate better, do tasks longer, and listen to people better as well as feel more satisfied about work.” Translation: a catnap a day keeps the competition away.

Does your employer currently allow you to nap on the job? 16% of employees in the survey say their employer does. How can you get yours to do the same?

After you’ve asked, cajoled, lobbied, begged, there may be one last way: Some afternoon after lunch, just change into your jammies, fluff a pillow up behind your head, take off your shoes and stretch out those dogs right up and over your keyboard. When your boss walks by, he’ll get the hint… ah, that is, unless he gives you the boot instead!

Ken Lizotte CMC is Chief Imaginative Officer (CIO) of emerson consulting group inc. (Concord, MA), which transforms consultants, law firms, executives and companies into “thoughtleaders.” This article is an excerpt from his newest book “Beyond Reason: Questioning Assumptions of Everyday Life”.

Visit ==>www.thoughtleading.com for more info.

What can you say to a parent who loses a child to cancer? Whatever words we offer are inadequate to lessen their sorrow. We have no answers to questions like, “Why this child?” or “Why now?” and “What do I do now?”

Another question we all ask and cannot answer is, “Where was God and what was He thinking when this horrible thing happened? ” For answers, I look to God’s written word. It gives me a glimpse into His personality and thoughts.

If God were to telephone and speak to you during times of suffering, perhaps these are some things He might say:

“I know how you feel.” God understands the loss of a child because He experienced it. He said to Jesus, “You are my son whom I love.” (Mark 1:11) He watched men torture his beloved son. He felt the grief of seeing the people He’d created rebell against Him. “His spirit was grieved.” (Isaiah 63:10) The Bible says Jesus was “a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering . . . He carried our sorrows.” (Isaiah 53:3) Crucifixion was the most barbaric form of death known to man. It was a cruel, drawn out process. Nails were driven into wrists and ankles. The body was suspended in an abnormal position that crushed the lungs and heart. The pain was excruciating. For this torture, Jesus left the glory of heaven. He left the companionship of angels and the fellowship of His Father for this brutal treatment. He understands suffering like no other can.

In the midst of your struggles, God would say, “I love you.” “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3) He demonstrated His great love with the ultimate sacrifice. “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son.” (John 3:16)

He would say, “You’re not alone. I am with you..” Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us, “The Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Isaiah 43:2 reads, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” And Jesus said in Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always.”

He would say, “I want to bless you.” “He did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all. Will He not also graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32) Anyone who would give so great a gift at such a great cost must certainly have only our best interest at heart.

God would assure you that, “Nothing bad in this world can separate us.” “Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons . . . nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:35-39)

God would tell you, “Pain is part of life.” “In this world, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33a)

But He would also say, “Take heart.” The next part of that verse says, “But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.”

He would tell you, “Lean on me.” “Come to me you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

He would say, “Trust me.” “My peace I give to you . . . Do not be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:28)

He would promise, “I can make you strong.” “My strength is made perfect in (your) weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

He would say, “I can bring good, even from tragedy..” “In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28)

He would say, “Ultimately, nothing - not even death - can hurt you, if you belong to me; because, through my son, you have the hope of eternal life.” “Death where is your victory . . . Where is your sting? Death has been swallowed up in victory.” (1 Corinthians 15:55)

Even with the King of Kings leading us through life, it will be difficult; but we can endure, and even overcome, any struggle. He can strengthen us with the knowledge that no matter what happens in this lifetime, nothing here can steal our hope of the eternal treasure He wants to give us. He’s created an everlasting kingdom where pain, suffering, tears and death will no longer exist; and He offers that home to all who will come.

Life may be filled with sorrow, but it won’t be as hopeless with Jesus as it would be without Him.

When we’re suffering, only God can provide the perfect peace for which our hearts long. God’s love carries us through anything and overcomes any situation, burden, or grief — no matter how great.

The heart of Christianity revolves around a tragic and unjust death. The best man who ever lived — an innocent man — had to suffer, so how can we expect lives free from pain and sorrow? Yet, God brought life and good out of the tragedy of Jesus’ death. He can do the same with our suffering too, if through that suffering we grow closer to Him.

Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org). More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter, a compilation of essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill children.
In this book, the author combines hope with humor, drawing upon her own experience of living with chronic pain and depression. She opens her life and her heart to share everyday experiences and the lessons God has taught her from them. Her thought-provoking essays are illustrated with drawings created by children battling cancer and other life-threatening illnesses.
Anyone who has ever been discouraged or faced tough times will be encouraged by essays about everything from husbands, wild bears, and a day in the emergency room, to aging, in-laws, and living with chronic illness.

Other essays in the book include, “More Than I Can Handle,” “Ten Tips For Beating Depression,” “Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayer?” and “What Did I Do To Deserve This?” Learn more at http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm

John was a highly intelligent young boy. With higher than average intelligence, he was also emotionally sensitive. He was obviously a handful for his parents because they did not know how to deal with him. His father was strict with him. His mother was too busy to pay much attention to him because he had five other siblings. He felt not heard or appreciated. When he was in his early twenties he became elated. He was admitted into the hospital where he was diagnosed as having a psychiatric condition that he and his family was told, was untreatable. Today many years later, he has sometimes to take a little bit of medication when his mind starts to race. He is not on all the drugs that he was told he would be taking for the rest of his life. He lives a settled life and is married being in gainful employment for last many years.

This is a real life example of a psychiatric ‘illness’ that was alleviated with intensive therapy work dealing with traumatic issues in John’s life. Illnesses, in psychiatry, refer to thinking and behaviour patterns that do not fit the norm. It is impossible to know what someone is thinking of or perceiving till they talk about it and behave in a manner that is damaging to lives, including their own. It is presumed that the perception, behaviour and thinking are mediated through hormones and neurotransmitters in the body.

From psychiatric viewpoint there are references to ’stressful’ life events that contribute to mental illnesses. These events are those that cause emotional distress to the individual at the time of their occurrence. We do not know scientifically as to how these events cause a mental ‘illness’. To treat an’illness’ medication is necessary. So we see an excessive use of medicines in psychiatry.

In a physical illness- the ‘ill’ or diseased part of the body has to be kept free of any infections. The healing of the part is a spontaneous process that is done by Mother Nature. The best a surgeon can do is cut away the part that is cancerous, for example. He can do no more. We have to rely on Mother Nature to do the healing. The other ways in which cancer can be treated or prevented is by irradiation, changing the lifestyle or changing the diet or even with visualisation and imagery.

In psychiatric conditions, unfortunately, the medications do not help to heal the emotional ‘wound’ or emotional distress. When the body goes through an emotionally distressful experience, the chemicals in the body that are hormones and neurotransmitters, go through a stage of turmoil. This turmoil needs time to settle. In order for this turmoil to end, the body needs to ‘finish’ the processing of the emotional distress. This distress is experienced as ‘psychiatric illness’. When medication is introduced to treat the ‘illness’ the body stops processing the emotions that the person is going through. The sufferer actually becomes emotionally ‘numb’. This creates the impression of the ‘illness’ being controlled rather than being cured.

And ‘control’ is an interesting word that is prevalent in the field of psychiatry. When the sufferer falsely believes that they have been ‘cured’ as the symptoms are no longer there, they discontinue medications. The ‘illness’ then returns in most cases.

It is because of this reason that the emotional distress that is at the root cause of the condition is only a condition. If it is allowed to be expressed and emotional healing takes place, the ‘illness’ does not happen. Psychiatric illnesses are therefore only conditions that become more permanent because a person has not expressed the emotions to a point of completion. Recent researches are proving that expression of emotions is healthier than having a ’stiff upper lip’.

Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who specialises in helping patients with meditation and imagery using little or no medication. He is the author of The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress published by Blackhall Publishing, Dublin. He is based in Dublin, Ireland.His website address is http://www.drpkchadha.com

Today’s Quote: “My house is burned down, but I can see the sky.” Sally Reed, cancer survivor

Thirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. Killed when the Mack Truck Lear jet he was traveling on crashed into Lake Michigan, he died in the blink of an eye. There was no warning. His doctor had announced his perfect health a few days earlier. Yet he walked out our front door the Thursday morning of November 6 and never came back. I was twelve years old.

In the blink of an eye, pedestrians and bicyclists cross busy boulevards only to be hit by oncoming traffic. The blink of an eye separates consciousness from unconsciousness, wholeness from brokenness, and well-laid plans from disjointed futures. I was twenty when I was hit as a pedestrian and forty-five when I was hit as a cyclist.

In the blink of an eye, cars get sideswiped by speeding drivers running red lights. Cars mis-negotiate slick curves. Homes burn down. Pregnancies end in miscarriage. And loved ones hear proclamations of horrible diagnoses. Each one of these happened to people in my circle of love since August of this year.

In the blink of an eye, marriage vows are exchanged, babies enter the world, and toddlers take first steps. Athletes win gold medals and the Tour de France. Colleges accept graduating high school seniors, football teams win Homecoming, and actresses win leading roles.

None of us ever think about the time slot of a blink of an eye. Yet so much of life happens just there.

As Lance Armstrong writes in Every Second Counts: “Mortal illness, like most personal catastrophes, comes on suddenly. There’s no great sense of foreboding, no premonition, you just wake up one morning and something’s wrong in your lungs, or your liver, or your bones. But near-death cleared the decks, and what came after was a bright, sparkling awareness: time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action, and purpose.”

These past thirteen days have certainly held their share of my own personal introspection, and of how I want to best string my days. In the blink of an eye, the doctor told me of my son’s leukemia, as well as his chances for total healing. Armstrong hit it head-on: there is no warning to some of the bumps in life’s journey. One minute you are sitting there minding your own business and the next minute you are smack dab in the emergency room watching someone drawing blood from your cancer-stricken child.

So just how do we deal with those events that arrive too suddenly, too quickly, and too unexpectedly? Horrible or wonderful: how do we make sense of the blink of an eye?

First of all, be spiritually grounded. Know thy maker. Have an intimate, love relationship with your Creator. For although you will undoubtedly question the events, cry for mercy, and pray for relief from suffering, it is more difficult to challenge the Creator when you realize that “you were fearfully and wonderfully made,” and that “all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” I have had my share of questions these past thirteen days…but at some point I have also had the distinct confirmation that the clay does not question the potter.

Secondly, be grounded in your relationships. Your spouse, children, parents, neighbors, and friends were all gifted to you. They were placed into your life by a loving God whose master plan orchestrated their intervention. I have no doubt that the neighbors and friends who have embraced and enveloped our family have been put there precisely to help us out during this significant time in our family’s history. And as I reflect back on the various people whose paths crossed mine at different points in the journey, I am well aware of their precise placement at that distinct point in time. Again, from Lance Armstrong: “What surviving cancer teaches you is the magnitude of your dependence on others, not just for self-definition, but for your mere existence. Cancer robs you of your independence; you’re reliant on friends, family, and complete strangers, stoic doctors and nurses, and when you finally recover you’re never casual about your place in the human chain.”

Lastly, cast a wide net. Allow complete strangers to enter your world and meet you exactly where you are. During times of tragedy as well as during times of joy: allow others to indulge their goodwill with acts of hospitality and generosity. The circle of life goes round and round….and it will be your turn one day to return all of those favors.

Experiences that happen in the blink of an eye are meant to be shared. Through your suffering or through your joy, others will want to enter into your life equation. Let them. For life that happens in the blink of an eye was never meant to be lived alone. If we can share these blinks with others, and if we can both learn a lesson as well as pass one along, then we have, indeed, done something quite extraordinary. So in addition to living your life wisely, live it exuberantly. Live it with celebration with others. Wake up with fresh and vibrant expectancy. And graciously accept the goodness, serendipity, and divine intervention that will come your way.

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. and worked at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch before coming home to work as a wife and mother of four. She totally re-invented herself along the way. Immersed in the domestic, performing and visual arts, she has undertaken projects ranging from renovating old houses to singing onstage in Carnegie Hall to painting in oils. Strong convictions were born about the role of the arts in child development; homeschooling for ten years provided fertile soil for devising creative parenting strategies. These are played out in ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance. It is available on Amazon.com, in bookstores everywhere, or by calling 888-476-2493. She writes extensively for a variety of parenting resources and teaches other moms via parenting classes and radio and TV interviews.

Feeling overwhelmed? Need encouragement? Parenting tips? Have a dilemma? Please visit http://www.rocketmom.com to subscribe to her free ezine and get a weekly shot of inspiration. Carolina lives with her husband and their four children in Connecticut.

The manner in which we present ourselves has a great impact on how other people perceive and treat us. While you don’t want to be thought of as boastful or egotistical, you certainly can’t afford to shrink back into the shadows. It takes a great deal of courage and confidence to sell others on your dreams and talents. But a smart moves manager knows that in order to move forward in his career, he must begin by projecting an image that communicates confidence, competence and credibility. Here are 15 tips to help you.

1. Think highly of yourself and what you have to offer. Believing in your self is the first step in projecting a powerful professional image. It is essential to your success that your confidence comes through. Even if a situation doesn’t work out the way you planned, look for the lesson and use it to move to the next level.

2. Keep negative comments to yourself. Never badmouth a coworker, your boss or a former boss in public. You never know who’s listening. Further, it makes you look like untrustworthy.

3. Do an honest self-assessment. What areas of your personality, habits and work practices do you need to improve?

4. Be reliable and be on time. When all else fails all you have is your word. Let your word be your bond.

5. Project a positive attitude. How do you come across to others? What message are you sending through your behavior and body language? How do your bosses, employees and colleagues perceive you? Think positive, speak positive and be positive.

6. Be cordial to everyone you meet from the CEO to the secretary. Even if you’re having a bad day you must remember to be pleasant.

7. Be easy-going. People prefer to work with people who are flexible to work with and who don’t make a big deal out of every little annoyance. By being easy-going, you’ll come across to others as a team player and people will be naturally drawn to you.

8. Handle proprietary information with care. Be the type of person who others can come to when they need guidance or a silent sounding board.

9. Learn the technical skills and information required to carry out your job function successfully. Know how to do your job inside and out.

10. Be an interesting person. People like and respect people who are interesting. Broaden your horizons and make learning a lifelong commitment. Cultivate your talents. Take up a hobby.

11. Be an attentive listener. When people speak to you, try to focus your complete attention on what they are saying.

12. Know how to read people. Reading people is about understanding that people have two faces: The one they present publicly and the private one. Reading people is about seeing beyond the public face in order to discern their true message and intent.

13. Dress for success. Be sure to observe your organization’s dress code. Don’t just dress for your position, dress for the position you want. Make sure that your clothes convey the image that you’re trying to project.

14. Adopt a role model. One of my role models is Oprah Winfrey. Although I’ve never met her, I admire and respect her a great deal. And the constant message that I get from watching her is, “use your life responsibly.” I take this message to heart and use it as a catalyst to remind me that I am responsible for my life. Think about someone who you respect and admire and study his/her life. Adopt some of the principles that they live by and apply them to your life.

15. Be the consummate professional. In all that you do, put your best foot forward. Be professional in your attitude, attire, behavior and your verbal and written communication. Before sending out a memo or letter, check it and re-check it. Start and end all meetings on time. When attending company parties and events, watch your liquor consumption and behavior. Remember everything you say and do speaks volumes about your level of professionalism.

Copyright 2005 by Cassandra Mack

Before the meeting

- Send out a schedule showing the time and date of your meetings, including time zones

- Write the month as a word to avoid confusion

- Send any documents needed for the meeting early enough for the recipients to review them

- Notify participants of the telephone number, security code and the conference commands

- Send an agenda - and stick to it

At the Start of the Conference Call

- Write down the names of people as they join so that you can remember who is on the call

- If the conferencing equipment you are using allows it, play back the names of the participants so that everyone knows who is on the call

- If any participants have not met, make introductions

- Request participants to mute their lines if they are not speaking

- Explain the purpose of the meeting and how long it will take

During the Meeting

Participants should:

- Join the conference call from somewhere quiet

- Say their name before speaking and address each other by name

- Resist side conversations

- Mute their lines when not speaking, this has a huge impact on overall sound quality

- Try not to put the conference on hold, it will put music into the conference

- Face the microphone when using a speakerphone and not put anything in front of the microphone

Speaker Phones

- Avoid tapping on the table or shuffling papers near speakerphones

- Always mute the speakerphone before moving it

- Some speakerphones will cause feedback when the volume is set too high

- If the sound coming out of your speakerphone seems intermittent or quite and you have already turned the volume up, try muting it
For more articles on teleconferencing services, visit http://www.HotAirConferencing.com.au/

About the author

Ian Wells is the CEO of HotAir Conferencing. He has been in the conferencing industry for 12 years, working in Australia, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore and the UK. He established the first specialist conferencing services in Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore and is widely regarded as the founder of the Asia Pacific conferencing industry.
Ian was the General Manager - Asia Pacific for MCI Conferencing which was the largest service provider in the region during his tenure and the Managing Director, Australia for Genesys Conferencing.

Love and life are funny things that often bewilder us, creating feelings within our body that are not really caused by any physical injury. Take heartbreak for example. Heartbreak is not a pain caused by a physical injury to the heart. The pain we feel is an emotionally generated pain, triggered in part by our mind based upon an experience. And what about that chemistry that jazzed the both of you when you met? Then wonder, “what more?”

Just as suddenly as the juices got jazzed you find yourself running, laughing, playing, and enjoying a budding relationship. You can’t believe you could be so lucky! You think about this miracle that came into your life throughout each day. You feel the energy in your body inspiring your life. You feel so alive! You know all of this though and realize you have to get through each day, keeping balance and perspective so you don’t neglect other areas of your life. Too bad about that really, it would be great to just walk off into the sunset and not have to worry about the realities of life for awhile. “Give us some time” I’d say, knowing that in time we’ll both come back to the planet looking to explore other avenues of our lives. Let’s get back to reality though.

Now, I can only speak for myself and others like me. I don’t fall in love to just walk away. Yet, too often, that is what we are required to do. As compatible as a relationship might feel or seem, timing could be everything. Someone’s distortion could have their values out of whack. Knowing the inner-qualities of each other, you could have even been certain that you’d never be dropped for material reasons. This love, this woman, or this man, is deeper than that. It’s there, in all the journals, in every conversation, in the eyes, and the vision for the future. Then life shows up and serves some humble pie.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. Someone is struck ill with a serious illness and before long the retirement savings are gone. The recovery can take months or even years, if at all - for some. The physical toll can be too great for some people to handle. The emotional stamina required to endure the trials may be to costly to another. The financial strain may threaten a required sense of security for others. For the person it is all happening to, it can have profound and life-changing impact.

Deep loss is experienced as an old identity passes away and a new identity comes into being. Death and birth, experiences equally bound in both pleasure and pain. Not just a physical death, a psychological death. Not just a physical birth, a metaphysical birth. Some people end up lost in the bottom of a bottle while others stab out the misery with a needle; both scenarios leading to more misery and death. These are just examples, the scenarios are limitless. Some recover, some don’t. Death isn’t the only thing that can kill you.

In spite of what we see on the streets and played out in the drama of each others’ lives, miracles still happen all the time. These miracles happen even through the loss and in spite of loss. Someone may truly be gone forever and yet, someone else is saved as a result. An illness could miraculously disappear, leaving no trace of ever having been there. Financial ruin could bring two closer together, empowering and strengthening beyond what each could do individually. Important changes in society could come about as lives are radically changed through tribulation.

Too often judgment is heard spilling from lips of those who don’t know or are arrogant. If you’ve ever fallen, why would you laugh at another who has fallen? You remember what it was like. You understand the pain and even the embarrassment you felt. You remember the judgment others threw in your face. Everybody hurts, sometimes. Judgment, ridicule, laughter, and self-righteousness are uncomfortable disguises of your own frailty. Bad things happen to good people all the time. It could happen to you. This is uncomfortable to admit. It recognizes your powerlessness to control every aspect of living your physical life on earth. You only control your response, reaction, your attitude.

As for the hurt that comes with the human experience, the shift in perspective can view the emotional pain as a good thing. The ache in the heart chakra is a blessing of your aliveness. It affirms your divine capacity to love another being. The ache that comes with the turmoil of disappointments affirms your love of self. The ache that comes with betrayal in society affirms your connection and love to your fellow beings. You are a divine creature living in a physical world. Lifting the veil, seeing your own inner-spirit, you will experience and observe and learn to be with the aching emotions. Make that your challenge - to ‘be with’ the pain and witness it as a good experience. Shift your perspective to see that your spiritual being is embracing each experience and will rise above each experience.

This brings me full-circle, right back to heartbreak. Don’t run away from love. Don’t run away from loving another. Run away from fear. Run away from doubt. There is power in love and it is the only thing that you have in life that cannot be taken away. Health: Who knows when, if, what, or why, but you could be hit. Money: That balance sheet is all over the place and depends a lot on other circumstances that may be beyond your control. And what will you give up for that? Too many look for the bling without really seeing the stars. If you’re wondering where to look, try deep into the eyes of another.

Lee Down is a professionally trained Spiritual Life Coach committed to the development of the human spirit. His vocation and business, One Man Can Human Capital Development has evolved from human resources, to career and life coaching until the inspired writing, also available on his site, paved a new path into the realms of Spirit. Discover power, passion, and purpose. Enjoy abundance, love and fulfillment.